There certainly isn't any shortage of help with marriage problems available both online and offline. The trouble is that when you're in the middle of a marriage crisis you want to ensure that the advice you follow is going to help, not hinder, the situation. If you love your spouse and the thought of divorce just tears you up inside, you need to understand how to effectively manage the situation so you save your marriage and your family.
When you are looking for help with marriage problems you may decide that the best approach to take is to try and get your spouse to sit down and rationally discuss your problems. Communication is at the heart of much of the advice being offered for couples dealing with a crisis. The problem with that is that it's not always the right time to decide to confront your spouse about talking through things. Whenever a person feels cornered their natural emotional defenses come up and they'll be less open and honest. They are also more likely to attack which only results in more hurt feelings. If you do want to discuss the ongoing issues that are causing tension in your marriage do it away from the home. Plan an evening out for just the two of you and only bring up one issue at a time. Do it in an understanding and non-confrontational way. You want your spouse to feel as though they can share what they are feeling with you, without fear of being verbally attacked.
Another avenue to explore when you are looking for help with marriage problems is keeping a journal. Often when we are feeling anger or resentment towards our spouse it manifests itself in the form of verbal lashings. We wait to find something to pick on about our spouse and our claws come out. If you want to tone down those outbursts journaling your feelings and thoughts is very helpful. It gives you a venue to express what you are feeling without having to worry about unnecessarily hurting your spouse and further damaging your relationship. Another benefit to having a journal is that you can understand what you are feeling and if there are certain things happening in your life that make you that much more emotional.
Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was. For more insight into the troubles many marriages face and steps you can take to save your relationship, visit this helpful site.
Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only set the groundwork for reconciliation between you and your spouse, but will help you build a stronger and more loving marriage.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Gillian_Reynolds
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
What Kind Of Love Never Fails?
In "The Love Chapter" of the Bible (I Corinthians 13) there is one short phrase worth our attention. That phrase is simply-love never fails. But how is this possible? We are familiar with love and it seems to fail all the time. Well, our culture of love may not be exactly what the Bible meant when it spoke of love. There is a love from God that is stronger, wider, and deeper than our human love can muster. God's kind of love never fails. If we receive that love, we then become carriers of a much greater love than we ourselves could ever manufacture.
In this chapter of the Bible, several attributes of this God kind of love is given . These seem simple, but are sometimes difficult to obtain in our everyday relationships. Take for instance when the Bible says that love is patient. Just look at our culture today. Everything is rushed. Everything has to be microwavable, instant, and fast. At times we bring this same attitude and expectation into our relationships. We expect those around us to be instantly sensitive and clued into our every need. We expect instant gratification in our relationships on most levels without realizing that life isn't that simple all the time. People make mistakes and even need a learning curve with new territory in life-right? Love is not self-seeking. Wow. Our whole culture is trending toward the pursuit of self. Self actualization, self-help, self-gain, self, self, self. There may be nothing wrong with these exclusively, but when self grows to become the center of our motivation for living, we have moved out of love (which is selfless) and have become selfish. Now we pick up at love is not easily angered-it keeps no record of wrongs. What? Is this even possible? Again, maybe not from within ourselves. This love is not of our making. It does not come naturally. The passage goes further and says that love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. And finally, love never fails. What a standard. What an incredible standard for true love. But, this kind of love is obtainable only through God. This kind of love is the only kind of love that lasts a lifetime and forever.
In this chapter of the Bible, several attributes of this God kind of love is given . These seem simple, but are sometimes difficult to obtain in our everyday relationships. Take for instance when the Bible says that love is patient. Just look at our culture today. Everything is rushed. Everything has to be microwavable, instant, and fast. At times we bring this same attitude and expectation into our relationships. We expect those around us to be instantly sensitive and clued into our every need. We expect instant gratification in our relationships on most levels without realizing that life isn't that simple all the time. People make mistakes and even need a learning curve with new territory in life-right? Love is not self-seeking. Wow. Our whole culture is trending toward the pursuit of self. Self actualization, self-help, self-gain, self, self, self. There may be nothing wrong with these exclusively, but when self grows to become the center of our motivation for living, we have moved out of love (which is selfless) and have become selfish. Now we pick up at love is not easily angered-it keeps no record of wrongs. What? Is this even possible? Again, maybe not from within ourselves. This love is not of our making. It does not come naturally. The passage goes further and says that love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. And finally, love never fails. What a standard. What an incredible standard for true love. But, this kind of love is obtainable only through God. This kind of love is the only kind of love that lasts a lifetime and forever.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Does Love Ever Fail?
There is a scripture in the Bible from I Corinthians 13:8, that very simply says that love never fails. Well, if love never fails, how is it that our marriages are failing to the rate of about one out of every two in America? Something about our love definition does not seem to match that of the Bible. Again, this blog is about a more traditional view of marriage. I am going into this discussion with an understanding that you and I believe the Bible to be the truth and not a lie. If we can agree that the Bible is the Word of God, I believe that we can come to some logical conclusions in this area of love and marriage.
When we look at our culture today, although people say that they love each, we are more and more hard-pressed to find love that actually lasts. You may go into a marriage and survive one, five, or maybe even 10 years, but eventually there is a call for a divorce. That divorce may occur for many reasons. Some reasons may be justified due to infidelity or abuse of a spouse or a child. However, more times than not, divorces seem to be rooted in some vague catch phrase like irreconcilable differences. What is that? What differences can't be reconciled if love is truly present? Jesus stated it this way: "Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."
True love carries with it a strong commitment and even a sacrificial element. If our love were based more on the love that Jesus describes, maybe our love would truly last. True love is selfless, but we have tried to define it as selfish. But, God's kind of love, as demonstrated when Jesus died for us, is effective and powerful. Again, I believe the Bible to be true. Love never fails. But we fail when we choose to be self-centered and only interested in what makes us happy. Maybe the answer is simple. We should only use the term love when we are ready to commit and sacrifice on behalf of another. I believe that this would help us stay focused on the reality of a God kind of love that is deeper and stronger than what we usually refer to as love in many of our relationships and marriages. I still believe that love never fails.
When we look at our culture today, although people say that they love each, we are more and more hard-pressed to find love that actually lasts. You may go into a marriage and survive one, five, or maybe even 10 years, but eventually there is a call for a divorce. That divorce may occur for many reasons. Some reasons may be justified due to infidelity or abuse of a spouse or a child. However, more times than not, divorces seem to be rooted in some vague catch phrase like irreconcilable differences. What is that? What differences can't be reconciled if love is truly present? Jesus stated it this way: "Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."
True love carries with it a strong commitment and even a sacrificial element. If our love were based more on the love that Jesus describes, maybe our love would truly last. True love is selfless, but we have tried to define it as selfish. But, God's kind of love, as demonstrated when Jesus died for us, is effective and powerful. Again, I believe the Bible to be true. Love never fails. But we fail when we choose to be self-centered and only interested in what makes us happy. Maybe the answer is simple. We should only use the term love when we are ready to commit and sacrifice on behalf of another. I believe that this would help us stay focused on the reality of a God kind of love that is deeper and stronger than what we usually refer to as love in many of our relationships and marriages. I still believe that love never fails.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Love And Marriage-God’s Way
Today's culture is so confusing when it comes down to love and marriage. We look at Hollywood icons and music industry giants and are wowed by their success and money. We say wow, what a beautiful couple. Wow, what beautiful children they have. Wow, look at the power and prestige they have. Then, before we know it, the marriage is over. The children are being shipped back and forth, and new relationships are already being pursued. Before long, a new engagement is announced, a new spouse is found, and a new family begins. I guess my question is-where is the real love? Where is the commitment to stay together? You know, "til death do us part." Where is that sense of sacrificial love? Remember, "for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer?"
In Malachi (Bible) God's prophet notes: Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are His.
And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard
yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your
youth. "I hate divorce, " says the Lord God of Israel...
It was God's plan for the man and woman to marry and have a dynamic and fulfilling relationship. From that relationship, God wanted wonderful children who would perpetuate the cycle of love and commitment in their own marriages.
Although God put the first man and woman together (Adam and Eve) we tend to overlook His thoughts on love, marriage, and even intimacy. I believe that you must consult the maker of a thing before you can know how that thing works.
Why is it that our society is experiencing record divorce statistics and broken families? Almost one out of every two marriages will end in divorce if current trends remain consistent. Something is truly wrong with our thinking on love, marriage, and intimacy. I believe that we should go back to the beginning and rediscover the foundational truths that make love and marriage last a lifetime.
In Malachi (Bible) God's prophet notes: Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are His.
And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard
yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your
youth. "I hate divorce, " says the Lord God of Israel...
It was God's plan for the man and woman to marry and have a dynamic and fulfilling relationship. From that relationship, God wanted wonderful children who would perpetuate the cycle of love and commitment in their own marriages.
Although God put the first man and woman together (Adam and Eve) we tend to overlook His thoughts on love, marriage, and even intimacy. I believe that you must consult the maker of a thing before you can know how that thing works.
Why is it that our society is experiencing record divorce statistics and broken families? Almost one out of every two marriages will end in divorce if current trends remain consistent. Something is truly wrong with our thinking on love, marriage, and intimacy. I believe that we should go back to the beginning and rediscover the foundational truths that make love and marriage last a lifetime.
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